A long lost blog

I am a bad driver. I spent a long vacation back in Omaha this holiday so it was inevitable that I would eventually have to drive. In Chicago, I’ve learned to love my driveless lifestyle. I would go as far to say that I would be okay never driving again.

So anyway, I get behind the wheel to venture to Blockbuster to feed my new Grey’s Anatomy addiction, and as it turns out, I’m now the asshole who 1) cuts in front of people because I only get more indecisive when uncomfortable 2) who wonders why everyone is flashing their lights at me only to find my lights were off the entire drive as I pull in the driveway and 3) (the cardinal rule that you never break) who drives slower than the speed limit! I’m so disappointed. The “like riding a bike” factor did not come into play.

I remember when I was first learning to drive. My dad took me out in the Plymouth Voyager (if you’re picturing a mini-van with fake wood panel siding you would be correct), minutes before the end of some Husker game that they were shamelessly losing and then miraculously won in the final seconds. It’s pretty regular for my dad to turn off the TV when he has given up on the team; he makes an “ahherg” noise and shuts it off as he walks out of the room. It’s not particularly because he’s a huge Husker fan, but I think it’s maybe because it’s not an efficient use of his time to watch a bad game.

So we’re driving around a parking lot and my thigh begins to cramp and I ask my dad if that’s normal. He looks at my foot and realizes I’m not resting my heel on the ground; I have my toes on the pedal and have been holding up my heel the whole time. Sometimes I think that until about two years ago, I wasn’t very smart because I recall stories like that and I ask myself, “Where’s the common sense Diana?”

Now, I exercise the utmost amount of common sense. Like at my friend Nick’s birthday party when I did a handstand in the bar, I’m like the smartest person I know.

To all my genius friends and family,

D.Riggs

Small Thing: When I pour a Guinness correctly and someone notices.

It's All In Your Head

My dreams are out of control. Last night, I was working at my bar (in my dream) and a crazy gunman shot me in my temple. I had pulled one of those “you don’t have the guts to shoot me,” stunts and the little punk blew my head off (sorry for the graphics). Of course as dreams would go, I suddenly was a super stealthy police agent and I had secretly dodged the bullet and used a fake blood packet to pretend I got shot (so much for watching Miami Vice before I go to bed).

The other night I had a dream that I cheated on Todd. The actual act, or in fact guy, were not present in the dream, but in this bizarre world, cheating was illegal and I was going to get arrested. I must say I took it very well. A couple nights ago, I dreamed Chicago was a bunch of islands with about three skyscrapers on each. It was always nighttime and the sky was filled with huge elementary-school looking stars. You know the ones you drew with two triangles…one upside down and one right side up. Oh! I just realized that is the Star of David, crazy.

I’ve always had many dreams and very weird ones. I thought I read somewhere that dreams were just thoughts or memories re-organizing themselves in you brain (when I think about that, I always imagine two shelves on each side of my brain with books flying back and forth between them).

And why do people talk in their sleep and others don’t? When I was young, I used to be really embarrassed about talking in my sleep at camps, sleepovers, etc. When my friends would wake me up laughing, I would get really defensive and upset. One of my camp counselors told me that I was really smart because not only could I talk when I was awake, but when I was asleep too. I’ve considered using this impressive skill on my resume.

I’ve started keeping a dream journal. If anything, I’ve found that it helps me distinguish reality from dreams. You know when you have those moments walking down the street and suddenly a memory pops up and you think, “was that a dream?” (So many of you are saying, umm…no). Well, happy dreaming everyone!

D.Riggs

Small Thing: Geico Caveman commercials